Prepare for a postseason without Detroit

I went into last night’s game fully expecting the Tigers to lose. There was no way, I reasoned, that Detroit could go to Minnesota, against a red-hot team and win this one-game playoff; especially with rookie Rick Porcello on the mound.

It was a self-defense mechanism. Emotionally, it was better for me to be pleasantly surprised than terribly disappointed.

But any sports fan can tell you that no matter how low you set your expectations, when the game begins that bar is still as high as the clouds. And after the Tigers took an early 3-0 lead, I was walking on cloud nine, 10 11 and 12.

Then Porcello’s error allowed one run to come in. Jason Kubel hit a 2-out homerun to close the deficit to one. And Orlando Cabrera, arguably the Twins’ best trade deadline move in ten years, slaps a two-run homerun off my least favorites Tiger.

4-3 Twins and I’m about ready to swear off religion forever because no caring God would have the heart to crush my excitement and enthusiasm so swiftly.

A Magglio Ordonez 8th-inning homerun restored my belief that this crazy world we live in isn’t, in fact, anarchy but that some forces of good exist out there.

And after Brandon Inge gave Detroit a 5-4 lead in the 10th I was ready to believe in just about anything. The moon landings were staged, there was a shooter in the grassy knoll and Bobby Thompson knew exactly what pitch Ralph Branca was going to throw him.

Of course this game was in Minnesota, Fernando Rodney was pitching for a second inning and Ryan Rabun isn’t Willie Mays. I don’t even want to talk about the rest of the game from that point because women and children do occasionally read this blog and I’d probably give the Supreme Court reason to believe free speech isn’t a great idea for everyone.

Let’s just say once Carlos Gomez crossed home for the game-winning run I was released from a psychological torture that made the Saw movies look like double dutch. All of it left me depressed for investing so much energy into a single game that really should’ve never happened.

With an entire off season staring me in the face I have plenty of time to wonder what went wrong on Tuesday night. Did Leyland take Porcello out too early? Did he leave Fernando Rodney out too long? Why did Ryan Raburn drive for that ball in the 11th? How did that umpire miss the hit by pitch with the bases load in the 12th?

Plenty of fans will wonder that this morning and for the next few weeks. I’m just going to drop it all because debating those points and more won’t put the Tigers into the playoffs.

What makes this loss so tough is that now I have no reason to gnash my teeth, toss my pillows or throw the remote control into the ground. No reason to emotionally wreck myself or walk around my house with unadulterated rage built up inside of me for a purposeless child’s game. No reason to spend three hours watching my favorite sport and then feel like absolute crap. All because Detroit won’t be in the playoffs.

And that just sucks.